Today was a good day. A very good day. The kind of day that makes me thankful, yet again, that we said yes. The kind of day that at the end of it, knowing that I have 6 sweet souls asleep upstairs, I can see that we took more steps forward than we took back. The kind of day that makes those other days worth it.
Today we did our chores without complaining.
We finished our school work and we were still smiling.
We played cards, had sack races, and laughed together.
We enjoyed hot-out-of-the-oven pumpkin bread.
We wrapped Christmas presents.
We ate dinner without one whine or negotiation.
Every night around the dinner table we play “High/Low.” We take turns sharing the best part of our day and the worst. Tonight some of the highs were…
-Daddy come home for lunch today
-This dinner very yummy
-Mommy no more sick (after 4 days in bed with the flu)
(On a side note, I just have to share this about my husband. He is amazing! He loves better than anyone I know. But he cooks and cleans worse than anyone I know. Being Mr. Mom for 4 days almost did him in. I snapped this picture when he came in to ask me for help while making dinner. True story….his question was, “If I am doubling the recipe and making 2 boxes of Mac and Cheese, do I need to double the time that I boil the water?”)
But just as surely as this day was good, there are days that stretch me to my limits. There are times when I cry, and I worry, and I think that I can not take one more thing without breaking.
Adoption is a beautiful thing, but it is born out of brokenness and grief.
Our children come to us with a story all their own. And really, much of their story we do not yet know. But we can see the effects of their past in so many ways. We feel it. We hear it. We live it.
My pastor preached a sermon recently on suffering. And something he said resonated within me. It is something I believe for each of my children.
God is the Lord over what breaks your heart. One day He will defeat it, but until then, not one tear is wasted.
One day He will defeat it.
God holds each of my children in the palm of His hand. He will defeat their brokenness. He will defeat their pain. He will defeat their suffering. He will defeat their grief.
That is not my job. I can leave this to the One who knows best. My job is only to love them.
Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
I have faith in the One who is their redeemer.
I have hope for their future.
I have love for today.
So tonight, I will treasure the goodness from today. I will thank the Lord for these sweet glimpses into the hearts of my children. Sometimes, I feel as though their true personalities are still struggling to break through the pain. And today, love won.