My sister is wonderful. She has been my best friend for my whole life. We are only 18 months apart and we shared every major life experience with each other. Part of the reason our relationship has worked so well is that I like to be in charge, and she has no problem with that! She is a peacemaker and has a calm spirit. I am so thankful that God blessed me with her!
When we learned about our girls, I started praying that my 3 daughters would have a special relationship. I knew that being so close together in age could pose some problems. I also know that girls come with hormones and tears and drama. I am so hopeful that someday these 3 girls can share the kind of relationship that I share with my sister.
However, that day is not today. So far, navigating the minefield of these 3 girl’s relationship has been one of the hardest adjustments our family is working through.
Understandably, Naomi and Abigail are so happy to be back together. They have been separated for 1 1/2 years. Another adoptive mother sent me a message after she saw our family picture of 8. She told me that her adopted daughter was friends with Naomi in the orphanage. She told me that Naomi used to pray every night that she would get to see her sister again. Naomi and Abigail grew up together, loving each other for the past 7 years, were separated and are now reunited.
Hannah is new to the sister mix. It is hard for Naomi and Abigail to include her in their special relationship. They are not intentionally being mean, but they share a bond and a language that Hannah is not a part of. This is something that will take time to figure out. But for now, it is hard. Hannah is in tears every day.
How do I handle this? I don’t think it is right to dampen Naomi and Abigail’s love for each other. I just want to encourage them to open their hearts and allow Hannah in. They are very responsive when I am in the room to facilitate. If I remind them to play together, or move over so Hannah can join them, or if I instigate a game for 3 players, then all 3 little sisters are happy and giggling. Really, the only remedy for this situation is time and patience and the healing of little hearts that can only come from our Heavenly Father.