Here are the reasons why I told God that 2 (or maaaaaybe 3) more children was my absolute limit….
#1 – The Cost
International adoption is an expensive proposition. And for every additional child there are added expenses. Court fees, agency fees, visas, passports, plane tickets, etc. We budgeted for 2!
#2 – Our Dining Room Table
I know this one is silly, but our dining room table only seats 6. So, since there were already 4 of us, we should only get 2 more children. Then we can all eat dinner together as a family! And God, I know this is important to you. Family time is a priority!
#3 – Our Car
We had room in our minivan for a family of 7. That pretty much settled the discussion for me. I mean, really God, can’t you see how we would fit just perfectly in our completely paid-for, well-loved van. No need to go out and get another car for any more children!
#4 – My Patience
God, you know me. You see my impatient, fiery, sometimes grumpy heart. You know I feel stressed when I am late. You know I get mad and yell at my children (infrequently). You have seen me (on VERY rare occasions) snap at my husband. You probably shouldn’t entrust me with too many more children to raise!
And here is what God said to me….
#1 – I don’t have limited resources. You need money? I have money! And I am going to use my people to provide it. $30,000 from the car accident settlement for agency fees. $20,000 from your church family for travel fees. $5,000 from people who donate online for visas, shots and passports. $4,000 from your friends at the gym for your in-country fees court fees and agency travel package. There. Done.
#2 – Dinner together as a family? Ok….how about a FREE bench for one side of your table. Then you can fit 3 little behinds all in a row right there. Can you please give me a harder problem?
#3 – What? You need a bigger car to hold a bigger family? How about this? A family from the bay area will GIVE their vehicle to a family in your church – FREE! Then, that family in your church, who has an 8-seat-vehicle they no longer need, will GIVE it to you – FREE! Yep. Now you can fit all 6 of those kids I plan on giving you into your vehicle. And did I mention, it was FREE!!!!
#4 – Now this one is going to require a little more work on your part. You will need to partner with me. You will need to set aside your own finite desires (for peace, for quiet, for a clean house, for sleep) and instead focus on the eternal perspective – My perspective. You will need to ground yourself in my word. You will need to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit that I have so freely given to you. But I promise you, my child, that “I will supply all your needs according to My riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19.
If my God has proven Himself to me over and over again in the past, why should I doubt Him in the future? He is the same yesterday, today and forever.
Lord Jesus, please help me to remember this when I feel overwhelmed. When I feel frustrated. When I feel scared. Please remind me of exactly who you are and the resources you have. Please help me to operate in your power and not my own.